no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
