you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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