Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
