PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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