yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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