Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
