Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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