i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
