5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
