how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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