FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize