Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Ketchup is God's man juice
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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