would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
