My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I take back everything I said about communal showers
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
