Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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