i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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