OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
