sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize