just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize