I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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