why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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