One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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