Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
