my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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