my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
