I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize