sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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