I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
