Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
