WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My vagina just recognized that song.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize