i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
