First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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