I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.