So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i think my cat just said my name.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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