i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I love having hate sex.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
