Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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