I think I am morally bankrupt
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Your cock deserves a montage
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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