How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
