At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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