I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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