So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
