Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
