....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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