he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
