I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
