dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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