from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
