No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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