I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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