You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
