i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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