I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
