What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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