if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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