i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
