Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
