I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize