This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
