This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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