i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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