My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
